This PHD

(Sung to "This Diamond Ring" by Gary Lewis and the Playboys)

 

Who wants to hire a PHD?

Especially the one I have--in philosophy?

 

(chorus)

This PHD won't get jobs for you anymore,

and this PHD doesn't mean what it did before--

and if you want to get tenure-tracked in college,

it takes more than knowledge!

 

Time was that learning made you

the finest of the fine--

but now it just marks you as

the smartest in the jobless line!

 

(chorus)

 

This PHD only gives me another name

and this PHD is as useless as its frame--

and if you want to get tenure-tracked in college,

it takes more than knowledge!