Prehension

(Sung to “Suspicion”)

 

An old man named Whitehead,

whom Harvard hired for his science,

from then on wrote nothing

but metaphysics just for fun—

Process was his subject

Reality his only object—

How best to relate them?

Inventing terms will get it done!

 

(chorus) 

Prehension—causal in part—

Prehension—all nature’s smart—

Prehension—panpsychically!

 

So actual occasions

are people just as well as protons,

and after we’re concrescent

we’re only objects to be grasped—

We live in durations

(symmetric, transitive co-presence),

existence momentary

and if we’re not prehended we relapse!

 

(chorus)

 

Are events the answer?

And is our science bifurcated?

One could be of two minds

as whether he was clever or effete—

Could Principia’s author

really process all this jargon?

Or was he laid to rest with

a twisted rigored tongue within his cheek?

 

(chorus)