Teach us some Kant, Ken Cooley

(Sung to "Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley")

(In honor of Professor Ken Cooley's retirement 6/01)

(chorus)

Teach us some Kant, Ken Cooley,
teach us the law sublime,
teach us some Kant, Ken Cooley,
ethics within the mind.

Act always so the maxim
be universalized,
the consequences be damned
serpentine-winding wise!

(chorus)

Should a mad killer ask us
where a good friend resides--
we may not treat him as means
filling him with our lies!

(chorus)

Absolutism is hard
maybe it's out of reach--
but how can we judge such things
if Cooley doesn't teach?

(chorus and repeat)